


love potion number nine

by bottomoftheocean



Category: Big Brother RPF
Genre: Excessive use of the word fuck, F/M, M/M, and everyone falls in love with him, cody is sprayed with a love potion, crack!fic, love potion, production will do anything for ratings, sorry don't judge, there's some accidental adultery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 22:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3504431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bottomoftheocean/pseuds/bottomoftheocean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt: a character of your choosing is splashed with a powerful love potion. for the next twenty-four hours, everyone is attracted to them.</p>
<p>(anon prompt from fanficy-prompts.tumblr.com)<br/>((lowercase intended))</p>
            </blockquote>





	love potion number nine

**Author's Note:**

> i got this brilliant idea bc half the house was already in love with cody anyway tbh
> 
> titled and inspired by the neil diamond song "love potion number nine"

when cody went into the diary room, no one thought anything of it. it was kind of a regular thing in the big brother house, for someone to disappear for a long period of time for no apparent reason. usually it was victoria, but the drama from the past few days could have anyone needing a few minutes of solitude.

twenty-five minutes later, when cody finally left the diary room, he went outside where christine, caleb, zach, and frankie were congregated. frankie cried out his name the moment he came into sight and started making grabby hands at him. this wasn’t terribly unusual for frankie, though most often the gesture was saved for zach, or sometimes caleb. rarely cody.

when cody sat beside frankie, the blond man practically sprawled out over him. “you know, cody. there’s something different about you. i’m not sure what it is, but i think i like it, whatever it is,” he said.

“i literally just had a dr session, i have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“i don’t either, really,” frankie responded, running his fingers over cody’s chest. but frankly, there really _was_ something different about cody. all of them saw it, but no one could pinpoint it.

zach, on frankie’s left, sat tense on the couch. he desperately wanted to clutch onto frankie, like usual, but he also felt this strange sense of longing for _cody_ , of all people. he’d never really paid much attention to the other man before, but now he suddenly understood why cody had gotten that underwear modeling job he talked about that one time.

eventually, zach pulled frankie back from cody to get some of his own cuddles. cody was immediately ambushed by a large, muscled man and a smaller, but just as heavily tattooed, woman. frankie and zach were pushed off the couch, caleb and christine taking their place. the two of them retreated indoors, heading for the beehive room for a little while.

cody sat sandwiched between caleb and christine, quite literally unable to move. christine had draped herself over him, which wasn’t necessarily out of the ordinary, but the large arm over his shoulders was a different story. the only person caleb ever cuddled with or was even _relatively_ touchy-feely with was frankie. most definitely not cody.

“why is everyone insisting on touching me all of a sudden?” he questioned.

“all of a sudden?” christine giggled, that obnoxious giggle that made him want to rip his ears off. “it’s not all of a sudden, silly!” she smacked him on the arm. “you’re definitely cuddleable!”

nicole came sauntering out into the yard then, and, seeing the top of cody’s head from above caleb’s arm, headed over there. she perched on the arm of the couch, even though cody knew that there were two perfectly good chairs five feet away on either side.

“okay, guys. move. i need to get up.” immediately, the three of them released their clutches on him, and he stood to leave.

frankie and zach were at the sink when he went inside, being all domestic like they usually were. cody took a seat on a nearby barstool and began fiddling with the potholders on the counter. “what are you guys doing?” he asked.

“oh, we’re just doing dishes. nothing important,” frankie responded fondly. “but afterwards i can cook you something if you want?”

“nah, i’m good. i just ate not too long ago.”

since when did people offer to cook food specifically for him? that was unusual, even for frankie. “that’s what you say now, rose. let’s wait an hour or so and see what you say then.” the pink-haired man winked and turned back to the sink with the steel wool he had in his hand, scrubbing at a cookie sheet.

zach spoke then, behavior even more nonsensical than frankie’s at this point. “hell, i’d even cook for you, if i didn’t suck. you being a fucking smokebomb and all. and like, you’re looking even more on point than usual today, bro. i don’t know what it is.” he said it nonchalantly, wiping a wet plate off with a dishcloth as though his words were nothing more out-of-the-ordinary than “hey, what’s up?”

frankie, beside him, stiffened. words like that, _smokebomb_ especially, were saved for him, and occasionally one of the girls, _if_ zach was feeling particularly heterosexual that day. but it was usually him. and he couldn’t help but feel jealous of zach’s sudden affection for the other man who, in confidence one day with the lights out and their microphones off, had _confessed his bisexuality_ to frankie, because he had felt comfortable knowing someone would understand his situation.

cody cleared his throat, breaking the long silence. “well anyway,” he said, standing, “i think i’m gonna go upstairs and hang out with whoever’s up there.” silently he hoped that at least derrick would be, because maybe he wouldn’t be quite so… affectionate. he really wasn’t one for cuddling, had never been. and cody needed to not cuddle, nor be “flattered” by strange comments from the power couple.

he knocked on the door to the hoh room, and victoria’s voice rang out from the other side, permitting him to come in. she and derrick sat facing one another on the nest bed (funny, seeing as it was christine’s hoh), and cody took a seat on the couch opposite the bed. victoria faced him immediately, grin almost comically large. “hi, cody,” she said, trying about a thousand times too hard to be sexy.

cody waved halfheartedly in return, speaking directly to derrick. “man, everyone down there is acting really strange. no one will leave me alone, and even zach and caleb have started trying to flirt with me. i don’t know what the fuck is going on, but i don’t like it.”

“maybe you’ve suddenly turned all the guys gay and made all the girls unreasonably attracted to you,” derrick laughed.

“unreasonably?” cody crowed. “dude. not okay.”

victoria actually sounded as though she was scolding derrick when she said, “there’s no reason for you to say that about cody.”

“what’s got into you, vic?” derrick questioned. “since when do you defend cody?”

“why is that so out of the ordinary?” she asked him in return, as though she didn’t usually want nothing to do with cody.

“because you hate me?” cody answered. “literally, dude, what the fuck is happening.”

“i kinda wanna see what you mean about everyone else, man. because this is strange.” he gestured to victoria, who was too busy staring at cody to notice.

“go right on ahead. i’m gonna stay right here. i can’t take that.”

so derrick stood, dragging victoria (quite literally) out of the hoh room with him and leaving cody to mull over the happenings of the past hour.

ever since he left the diary room forty minutes before, the whole house -- save for derrick -- seemed to be in love with him. but the dr session wasn’t anything out of the usual. the room smelled oddly like rose petals when he walked in, but other than that.

so now, because he had no idea what was happening, he planned simply to hide in the hoh bedroom until the whole thing blew over. if it ever did.

derrick came back in, minus a trailing victoria, ten minutes later. “yeah, dude, they’re literally all in love with you. especially team zankie.”

“what the hell.”

“i don’t know, man.”

“i literally have no fucking explanation for this and i don’t know what to fucking do about it. and it’s driving me crazy.” he shoved his fingers through his hair roughly to try and distract himself from the craziness of the situation.

“well, you can either hide out and avoid everyone, or you can embrace it and have the showmance i know you wanted. we’re still the hitmen, even if everyone else is obsessed with you for some strange reason.”

“yeah. we’re the fucking hitmen, alright. let’s go down there and kick some romance ass.” cody grinned. it was these reasons derrick was his best friend in the house.

-

two hours later, cody sat in the rock room, still not entirely sure what was going on. but he had a few rare minutes of solitude for the moment, and he took the opportunity to think about the happenings of the past few hours.

there was no possible explanation. like, he knew he was hot, but not hot enough for seven people to fall in love with him all at once. that was unbelievable.

the door swung open, and nicole came sauntering into the room. she noticed cody curled under the blankets, and climbed onto the bed beside him. “i’ve been looking all over for you,” she said.

“why?” cody asked. yesterday she had wanted nothing to do with him, still pissed at hayden’s eviction and only wanting to talk to donny and victoria.

“i needed someone to cuddle with.”

he thought about saying ‘go cuddle with frankie’ but then thought better of it. there was no denying that nicole was the hottest girl left in the house (arguably the hottest girl that walked _into_ the house that season), and if she wanted to cuddle with him then he wouldn’t deny her of that. “come here, then,” he said with a smile.

she laid down beside cody and rested her head on his shoulder. his arm wrapped around her and pulled her in close, and his other hand tossed blankets over her.

“you know, cody, i’m not sure why i chose hayden over you. like, you’re really cute and stuff and i wish i hadn’t been ignoring you.”

“oh really? because you’re not too bad yourself.”

nicole giggled and nuzzled closer to cody. “shh. you’re just saying that.”

“no, i’m really not.” he couldn’t help but feel fond of the blonde girl in his arms. “you’re adorable.”

“aw, cody,” she cooed.

the two’s conversation continued for a while longer, moving into game talk for a bit, and then back into shameless flirting.

“cody, stop tickling me!” nicole laughed at one point. his fingers ghosted across her sides and under her arms, and she flailed about trying to get him to stop. “never!” he cackled, continuing the torture.

“cody!” nicole whined, squirming. she wrapped her legs around his waist and leaned up towards him.

this distracted cody momentarily, so she pulled him down on top of her. she rolled them over so that she was on top. he no longer tickled her. “who’s in control now? she chuckled, moving to get up.

cody realized then just how long they’d been in the room alone. it was a surprise that no one else had walked in looking for one of the two of them, especially considering the whole house was still in love with him as far as he could tell. so he grabbed her wrist before she could get up, dragging her back to his side.

“it’s nice, being in here alone with you. don’t leave yet,” he said.

“cody,” nicole blushed. “everyone’s probably wondering where we went.”

“if they cared they’d have come in looking for us, like you did me.”

“why are you trying so hard to get me to stay?”

he didn’t have a clue. but still he said, “do you want to go back out into a house of people who couldn’t care less about you? because other than donny and maybe vic and christine, no one out there gives a fuck about you for the purposes of the game. as for me, they all seem to love me today and it’s freaking me out. but other than derrick, none of them really cared before three hours ago. besides, i’d rather hang out with a pretty girl than a couple thirty-year-old men any day.”

“come on. i’m not that pretty.”

“you’re beautiful.”

“cody.” he leaned towards her.

“it’s true.”

“cody.”

“are you going to stop me?”

nicole hesitated. “no.” and then she closed the gap.

the kiss lasted only a moment before she broke away and began fiddling with her bun. “what is hayden gonna say?”

“i don’t know,” cody answered honestly.

“i don’t want him to be hurt. he’s gonna be so upset about this,” she murmured.

he rubbed her arm softly, trying to calm her down. “he’ll be fine, okay? i promise. i haven’t the slightest idea as to why you actually agreed to kiss me when you seemed so happy with him last week, but… it’s my fault. don’t blame yourself.”

when cody had gained all this integrity, he wasn’t sure. but he did know that he really didn’t want to get on hayden’s bad side. and not just for game purposes (kissing his girlfriend really wasn’t a good start, but. at least he didn’t try and blame it on her).

“okay. i guess you’re right. i’ll deal with it when it happens.” nicole leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek before getting up and walking to the door.

“hey. i wasn’t lying before. it really has been nice, hanging alone with you.”

“yeah, it really kinda was. i just hope whatever just happened doesn’t screw things up.”

cody chuckled. “no worries, nic.”

she left the room, leaving cody to his solitude once again.

_and what the hell just happened?_

-

cody had really gotten sick of the constant attention. usually he craved it, but at this point it had been four hours of no one leaving him alone for more than point-five seconds. christine had been the clingiest, though that was no surprise, considering she practically tried to commit adultery on a daily basis. but it was _worse_ , a feat cody didn’t think was possible.

currently, he was lying in the hoh bed, sandwiched between frankie and zach (really, did christine even use her own hoh room?), with the door locked so no one would come barging in. this normally wouldn’t be much of a problem, but zach kept smelling his hair and mumbling stuff about how he was a _smokebomb_ , and he could tell that frankie was trying not to flip out.

frankie was the only one in the house who knew cody’s secret; cody knew that it made him uncomfortable, especially with zach’s sudden flirtation towards him. and yes, if cody had his pick of the male houseguests, he’d most definitely choose zach out of the five of them. but that wasn’t even _nearly_ the same thing as being attracted to him. currently he just wanted him to shut up and stop messing with his hair.

cody could feel the jealousy and territorialism radiating off frankie, as tangible as the pink-haired man himself. he felt suffocated by all the hands on him (three -- one of frankie’s hands reached over his head to zach) and wanted a way out. he swallowed thickly, wiggling as best as he could to loosen the two men’s grip on him.

the effort was futile, as he figured it would be. all the struggling only resulted in frankie and zach cuddling in even closer. frankie’s muscles were tense, even as he pulled cody closer to him ever so slightly.

“you know, cody, have i ever told you how attractive you are?” frankie muttered into his ear.

“practically every day, actually,” cody responded.

“well, you are. like, if i didn’t have zach…”

cody swallowed again. “frankie.” his words came out softer than he’d wanted, but he hoped that the message still got across.

it didn’t. that was made clear as soon as cody felt a pair of lips brush against his cheek. he jerked away from the touch, only to move himself into a position for a much more worrisome one. two trembling fingers touched under his jawline, turning his head to the left.

zach stared, eyes boring into cody. he had a feeling that whatever was coming next, wouldn’t be even close to good, considering the circumstances.

and, with frankie still glued to cody’s back, whispering god-knows-what into his ear, zach slowly pressed his lips to cody’s.

_literally, what in the actual fuck is happening in this house._

cody felt frankie’s sharp intake of breath more than he heard it, too distracted by his confusion and the fact that _zach would not stop kissing him._ and then the third man was launching himself across the bed, parting zach and cody’s embrace and landing hard atop zach’s lower abdomen, causing the younger man to wince.

cody quickly rolled away from the suddenly intense situation, standing from the bed.

“what the fuck,” frankie growled into zach’s face, “was that all about?”

zach didn’t even try to respond, eyes wide as though he knew he’d screwed up big time.

“you’ve told me this entire fucking game that ‘i’m not gay’ and ‘if i was gay then i’d be on my knees sucking your dick right now.’ and it takes four and a half fucking hours and you’re making out with cody like it’s nothing.”

“making out with cody? you call _that_ making out?” zach snorted. “please tell me you were just exaggerating.”

“what in the fuck do you call it, then, zach?”

“that was a kiss, frankie. clearly, we have different definitions of the term.”

frankie laughed. “that was a kiss. wow, zach. really didn’t notice, thanks.”

why cody was still standing there watching the fight go down, he wasn’t entirely sure, but it was such a trainwreck that he couldn’t tear his eyes away long enough to even unlock the door, let alone leave through it. he recognized a glint of mischief in zach’s dark eyes, and could only imagine what would come next.

his question was answered rather quickly, when he noted a slight shift in zach’s hips and a subdued growl coming from frankie.

“do you want to know what _making out_ really looks like, frankie?” zach asked huskily.

_well, this situation just took a turn for the strange._

“i don’t know if i do. not from you, anyway, asshole.”

“too fucking bad, frankie.”

it was then that cody decided he should really leave. especially considering he was now responsible for figuring out how to get the live feeds shut down for an hour or so.

feed watchers really didn’t need to see any of that shit.

-

when cody made his way down the stairs, he was immediately met by a confused-looking donny. “i’ve been huntin’ all over for you, cody. but now i see you, and i don’t remember why i was searchin’ in the first place.”

“that seems to be happening a lot today, donny. don’t worry about it.”

“it’s just been botherin’ me all afternoon and now i don’t even know what in sam heck it was.” he stroked his beard for a moment in thought.

“well, if you remember what it was, then find me.”

“i’ll be sure to do that,” donny smiled.

cody turned to walk towards the kitchen, but donny caught his shoulder before he left. the older man pulled him into a hug (which, weird).

“uh, donny?”

donny let go, shaking his head. “sorry, cody. i don’t know what go into me just there. but i don’t feel like i need to talk to you anymore?”

“weird.”

at this point, cody really did walk away. donny went off in the other direction, scratching at his beard some more.

when cody walked into the kitchen, christine and victoria both perked up. nicole, between them, had returned to acting as though he didn’t exist.

cody could really have used a wingman then. but derrick was nowhere to be seen. so instead, cody simply turned tail and ran, opting for a granola bar from the storage closet rather than making himself something. he cooped himself up in the rock room again, which was still empty, and munched on his granola bar.

he’d really had enough of this whole “everyone-loves-me” thing.

-

cody managed to make it through the rest of the night without another awkward encounter with one of the houseguests. however, when he woke up the following morning, he found christine curled close to his chest and one of his arms wrapped around her. how in the hell that happened, he wasn’t even close to being sure. she should have been upstairs in her hoh room (sleeping in the bed that zach and frankie had likely fornicated in -- probably a few times).

he leaned carefully over her to the bed where derrick slept, shaking him gently awake. when he stirred, cody gave him a relatively terrified expression. “what the fuck is this?” he mouthed, pointing at christine.

“i don’t know, man. she wasn’t there when i went to sleep,” derrick whispered back.

“it’s fucking creepy, is what it is.”

derrick nodded in agreement. “you gonna wake her up?”

cody slid himself carefully out of the bed, trying his hardest not to. “nah, i’ll let her sleep. but seriously, what the fuck.”

derrick got up with him. “i don’t even know, man. it’s almost like she’s forgotten she’s married or some shit.”

cody simply shook his head. “all i know is i’ve had everyone except you all up in my fucking business since yesterday afternoon and i can’t figure out why.”

“it must be your irresistible charm,” the older man laughed.

“yeah, fuck you too,” cody chuckled.

“and class, can’t forget the class.”

cody shoved derrick away from him. “at least i know there’s someone in this damn house who’ll give me a break. my god.”

“hey, want me to make you something for breakfast? i’m gonna cook eggs.”

“yeah sure, why not?” derrick went over to the fridge, searching for the eggs, and cody took a seat at the island. it was nice, having a few minutes of peace before his “admirers” (it was sad he needed to call them that) all awoke.

he and his fellow hitman discussed the other houseguests for awhile, undisturbed by any of them. it wasn’t even game talk, just two friends hanging out, eating breakfast.

that is, until christine stumbled half-asleep from the rock room. “oh, there you are, cody!” she ambled over to where he sat, hanging herself over him.

he tried to shake her off, but she held tighter. “what in the fuck, christine.”

she let go, taken aback. “what’s wrong?”

“you climbed into my bed while i was asleep!”

“i didn’t think you’d mind. and besides, nicole and i aren’t really getting along, seeing as i put her on the block and all.”

“why wouldn’t i mind?”

“i don’t know, i just-”

derrick dropped a plate of eggs on the counter in front of cody and silently left the room with his own. _thanks for the backup, bro._

christine tugged on cody’s hand gently, and he stood, now towering over her. “what. do you want?”

she didn’t say anything, but draped herself over him again. they were far too close for cody’s liking. he tried to back away, but she wasn’t allowing it. _where the fuck did derrick go?_

he did have to say he expected it when he felt lips on his again. the kiss lasted no more than half a second before he shoved her away. “did you not remember that you’re fucking _married?_ like, what the _fuck_ is your problem?”

christine had a hand over her mouth, wide-eyed. “i don’t even -- what the hell? i don’t have the slightest clue why that just happened. shit.” she ran off, whispering something to herself about tim and how ‘fucking sorry’ she was for whatever that was.

cody ate his eggs in silence, and then sought out derrick, because _someone_ in the house needed to hear about that.

_poor tim. i can only imagine what he’ll think about that._

-

cody found caleb before he found derrick. the tattooed man stopped him in his quest for his friend and dragged him into the beehive room.

“how long have you been awake? i didn’t see you come in here.”

“like, hours. i could barely sleep last night, man. i still miss amber.” he kicked a bunny slipper-clad foot.

“you’ll be alright, bro. you can do better than amber. someone who’s actually interested and doesn’t just lead you on for the hell of it.”

“thanks, man. i’m glad i found you when i did, you know?”

cody nodded. “sure thing, bro. you good?” caleb grabbed cody’s hand tightly, pulling him in for what he expected to be a quick bro-hug. however, caleb refused to let go after the first couple seconds, instead keeping cody there for far longer than was comfortable for him.

he parted with a kiss to the side of cody’s head, leaving the younger man seriously confused as he left the room, resuming his search for derrick.

he found him in the bathroom, brushing his teeth, empty plate on the sink beside him. “hey, why did you leave me hanging? she _kissed me_ , man. i had to fucking remind her she was married. how fucked up is that?”

derrick spit toothpaste from his mouth and started rinsing his toothbrush. “let me guess, and then she flipped out and ran off.”

“exactly. and then caleb brought me into the beehive room and gave me this really awkward hug and kissed my head? i seriously don’t know what the fuck is even happening.”

“i think we’ve established that, man.”

“but like, i feel like i should have some idea. but i don’t.”

“well, i noticed that since you were in the rock room with nicole last night, she’s left you alone. maybe once they kiss you or whatever they do, they stop being obsessed with you.”

“that doesn’t even make sense. mostly because this entire situation makes zero sense, but.”

“think about it.”

“i am thinking about it.”

“cody, bro. really think. i know it doesn’t come easy.”

“hey, fuck you.”

“seriously, though. it makes sense.”

cody thought back to the prior evening, when donny had told him that hugging him made him forget why he’d needed him. “wait.”

“and the gears are turning.”

“the thing donny said yesterday. you’re a genius!”

“i try,” derrick replied.

cody ran out of the room, yelling “thank you!” at his friend.

he needed to find victoria, kiss her a bit, and end whatever the hell this weird obsession with him was.

it didn’t take much convincing at all to get victoria to come with him into the fire room and get her to kiss him. however, after the fact, she slapped him and called him an asshole.

_cody, 1; weird-obsession-thingy, 0._

he never even questioned the fact that derrick had never been affected in the way that the others had.

-

it had been nearly twenty-four hours since cody had entered the diary room. everything seemed to have gone back to normal, and none of the houseguests fawned over cody more than usual.

cody sat in the hoh room with derrick, caleb, christine, zach, and frankie, the six of them determining how in the world they were going to get donny out of the house the following week. after nicole went home at the next eviction, they would make sure two of them won hoh and therefore could control the nominations.

as the conversation evolved (into drawing skittles out of derrick’s beanie, because nobody could decide who would go on the block), derrick inched slowly closer to cody.

suddenly, everyone in the room was talking to him and only him, seeming to expect him to make all their decisions. cody hardly even noticed the hand on his thigh as the man beside him said his idea, too focused on trying to make sense of the words being thrown at him from all directions.

he hardly noticed derrick’s proximity until he was talking directly in his ear. the other four people in the room didn’t even seem fazed, too busy directing an endless stream of theories and ideas in cody’s direction.

the very second that cody realized just how close derrick sat to him, just how dangerously near that hand was to territory that was most definitely not to be touched on a live stream, just how badly derrick seemed to want to kiss him (he was married. with a daughter. and they were being filmed twenty-four-seven. what was even happening?), everything stopped. the room fell silent, save for the heavy breathing in cody’s ear and then the sloppy lip mark dragged across his cheek.

cody braced himself for the worst, squeezing his eyes shut and waiting for the comments to restart. but nothing happened outside of the little bubble derrick and cody seemed to be in.

their lips brushed together (god, this was so _wrong_ ) and immediately, derrick pushed back. “what the fuck.”

those words echoed the expression on every single person in the room’s face. mere seconds later, the announcement came, calling cody to the diary room.

when he arrived, he was greeted with an envelope on the sofa. he sat and opened it, reading the note written inside.

_america voted you as the season’s “heartthrob!” this meant that for the past twenty-four hours, you were under the influence of a love potion that caused everyone to be attracted to you. congratulations on the title, bb16 heartthrob!_

cody sighed. “america, what the fuck is your problem? the last twenty-four hours have been hell for me, thanks to you. i kissed _married_ people! that’s not even close to okay! i don’t think my family will ever let me live that down.”

the cameraman prompted him a bit more. “aren’t you going to thank them for voting you the season’s heartthrob?”

“i mean, i guess. at least you think i’m hot. even if you only did it to get jealous zankie sex. it probably happened, horny bastards.”

he stood from the couch and left the room, determined that he was going to announce to the entire house that they’d been under a weird potion’s effects for the last day.

hopefully they wouldn’t all resent him and send him home just because he was hot. he did still want that 500k, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> "i didn't know if it was day or night  
> i started kissing everything in sight  
> but when i kissed a cop  
> down at 34th and vine  
> he broke my little bottle of  
> love potion #9"
> 
> i mean, how could i not make derrick the last one.   
> the song was screaming for it to happen.


End file.
